WOW, life can throw you so many obstacles and in the end they are all suppose to be life experiences - you take something away from them and move forward, but how much can you be thrown...?
So let me recap the last 4 months...
My mom became severely ill and was hospitalized, with only me here to be by her bedside.
I went to the Philippines, lots of traveling time, climbed a friggin huge mountain/jungle.
While away realized just how important a certain someone is to me. We had realized it before I left, but it really set in while we were apart.
While away a close friend of mine went on life support, is now okay.
Came down with some kind of stomach virus or parasite from the Philippines and still (6 weeks) later sick, now waiting for test results.
I had one week between my two summer adventures and in that week, I laid in hospital/bed sick. Was not able to spend any quality time with a certain someone, or talk about our feelings.
Moved to Ottawa, found a place upon my arrival and moved in.
Loving every bit of my experience, I made the most of everything related to this experience. My certain someone stopped by for a brief visit, things were good.
End of June, in a week, we found out my grandmother (never been sick in her life or been in a hospital) has breast cancer and needs to have one removed all in a week.
My certain someone came for Canada long weekend, what a great experience to be in Ottawa on Canada day, what a horrible weekend for the two of us.
Beginning of July, my landlord assaulted me, hit me and poured boiling water on me and then proceeded to kick my door down.
In a city all by myself, called my boss and was in a new place with the help of colleagues by the end of the next day.
In a great new place, in Ottawa.
Come home to Toronto, and my relationship was ended. Things out of our control just became too much for him, too much for me, and "us" suffered. Left from Toronto to Ottawa with "us" on hold until September.
We can't control our experiences day to day, even the good ones you've planned can turn out differently. I don't want to give in, because things I could not control and could not have foreseen have come up and have pushed both of us to our limits. Life is unfair, right? I can handle or rationalize events - things out of my control, but to let those things determine what I do have a say in - I won't let it happen. I am keeping an open mind, and that is all I am asking in return.
I hope now, that life will give me a break, I can work mentally and emotionally through the events of the last few months, collect myself and refocus. Refocus on being my happy go lucky self, and share that with my certain someone...
